


The thing about falling

by xxemily92xx



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Fluff, Jungle, M/M, Stranded, after narada incident, almost!kisses, angsty in parts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-12
Updated: 2014-03-26
Packaged: 2018-01-12 02:40:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 19,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1180945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxemily92xx/pseuds/xxemily92xx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A mission gone wrong leaves Jim and Spock stranded in the middle of a jungle. Alone. Hiding his obsession with his first officer suddenly got a lot harder. K/S mostly light hearted and fluffy but there will be dark patches.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The one with the plants~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Don’t own star trek (sadly) but if I did there would be more tribbles. And space husbands. My first time posting here :)

Jim idly crossed his legs in the captain chair, tapping away at the pad in front of him. Frowning lightly he fought a sigh as the small character on the screen died. Again. An entire shifts work for nothing and only a level away from the big boss fight, to say he was disappointed was an understatement.

For the past few days The Enterprise had been coasting from one small, boring job to the next. Something about needing to take a break he thought Pike said. Glancing around at his command crew it was safe to say he wasn’t the only one affected by the inactivity. 

Chekov and Sulu were talking quietly and Uhura was lazily scrolling through her pad. Spock was (as usual) working intently at his station, the slightest furrow between his eyebrows that would be almost invisible to anyone else. Suddenly Spock straightened and turned, those dark eyes now completely focused on the blonde who flushed at being caught staring. 

“Captain, no significant life forms have been located on the planet,” Spock monotoned. 

One of those elegant eyebrows rose as the Vulcan fixed Jim with a subtle look of concern.

“Are you unwell sir? You appear to be experiencing-” 

“Im fine Spock, its nothing,” Jim hurriedly interjected, not completely able to ignore the snickering coming from Sulu or the blinding smile Chekov was sporting. Even Uhura looked amused, hiding her smile behind a pad. 

So maybe Jim had a little thing for his first officer, just a slight crush. He mentally shuddered at the word and resolved to pick something more manly to describe it in his head for next time. Regardless, apparently the only one onboard who didnt know was Spock himself. And maybe Scotty since he rarely left engineering. 

Tuning back into the situation at hand Jim uncrossed his legs and sat forward. 

“So we have the green light then?” Spock’s other eyebrow snuck into his hairline.

“Green light Captain?” Jim looked at him with amusement.

“I swear you just pretend to not understand sometimes, don’t you?”

“That would be most illogical, Captain,” Spock assured, his face impassive but a glint of humour in his eyes making Jim smile widely. Sneaky Vulcan.

Standing from his chair with a stretch, Jim felt the first rush of excitement tickle the inside of his stomach. Finally something to do!

“Sulu you have the conn, Spock with me.” Sulu nodded and Spock walked shoulder to shoulder with Jim to the turbolift, back ramrod straight and hands clasped behind him. Before long they and twelve others (eight science officers and four red shirts) found themselves in a clearing surrounded by dense jungle.

The plant life was surprisingly similar to that of earth yet instead of greens the flora was a kaleidoscope of colour. Hot pink, yellow, orange and blue seemed to be the main ones and some of the larger trees seemed to be somewhat luminescent. Jim wasn’t sure if he found it beautiful or just trippy.

The blue shirted science team all pulled out their tricorders and immeaditely went about recording data, already immersed in whatever readings they were getting. The few red shirts glanced around in interest, since they were part of the security team there wasn’t a whole lot for them to do.

Spock strode over to the edge of the trees and inspected a deep blue coloured fern with his tricorder, raising an eyebrow. With a sigh, Jim took the chance to stretch his legs and began walking to the opposite side of the clearing to inspect what looked like a purple umbrella of sorts.

In retrospect he would have to agree with Bones’ theory that anything that starts with ‘Jim walked away from the group’ would inevitably go balls up.

He made it halfway before the umbrella thing quivered and suddenly a long green tendril shot out of the center and wrapped around Jim’s arm. With a shout, the young captain was wrenched forward off his feet to be dragged towards the trees. Jim scrambled for his phaser but was thrown violently to the left, dropping it uselessly behind him. A second green tendril shot out and snaked around his chest, knocking the air from his lungs with the force. Amongst the chaos Jim had the fleeting thought that he was going to be killed by a plant before the sound of a phaser shot rang through the air. 

A blur of blue and the vines were snapped, falling limp as the young captain rolled to his back on the ground, gasping for breath. 

Spock knelt by his side, eyebrows knitted together in undisguised worry. 

“Captain are you injured?” Spock asked, eyes searching over the blondes body. Jim felt his face go red from the scrutiny- and no it wasn’t a blush at all and had nothing to do with the way his first officer was leaning over him. 

Not at all. 

Sitting up, Jim shook his head. “Im fine Spock, thanks for-” he was cut off as another officer shrieked. 

All around them roots and vines shot out and grabbed the unsuspecting Starfleet officers, the large clearing becoming smaller as the jungle seemed to literally advance on them.  
Spock grabbed his communicator. “Spock to Enterprise. We require immediate-” there was a crunch as the communicator was crushed by a large vine, the tendrils wrapping themselves around everything and anything. 

In a split second decision Spock lunged for Jim, wrapping his arms around the shocked captain in an effort to keep them together. Jim had just enough time to reciprocate before they were grabbed by the vegetation, thin vines and brambles cutting through his uniform and attempting to wrench them apart. 

Jim almost felt the sensation of falling as he and Spock were pulled this way and that with surprising speed and anxiously hoped the rest of the away team had escaped. He couldn’t hear anything over the cacophony of hundreds of trees and ferns eating them before all was silent. 

Cautiously the young captain opened his eyes and raised his head from where it had been tucked against his first officer’s shoulder, tentatively unwrapping his arms from the Vulcan. 

They seemed to be standing in the middle of the jungle, the foliage so thick only a small amount of light filtered through the canopy casting them in half light. Jim fished out his communicator and was met with piercing static. 

Awesome, just what he needed. 

“Dammit it must be broken, guess we’ll just have to try to find everyone the old fashioned way,” Jim murmured, stowing away the useless communicator. Spock frowned minutely.

“Captain, you appear to have sustained injuries.” Jim glanced down at his stinging arms, small lines and blotches of red against his torn yellow uniform.

“Just superficial stuff I’ll manage Spock. And since we’re on our own its Jim,” he added, choosing a random direction and walking forward. 

Spock stared after him a moment before following a step behind his captain. 

“Very well Jim,” the Vulcan amended softly, breath ghosting across Jims neck as he strode past.

And damn if that wasn’t one of the hottest things Jim had ever heard.

I am so screwed, Jim thought to himself, suppressing a shiver. Spock allowed himself a small, unseen smirk as the two continued forward.


	2. The one with the toadstool~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Still don't own Star Trek ._.

"Ok…so something starting with the letter a?" Jim asked, eyes scanning the surrounding jungle.

"Affirmative. It is also found on earth," Spock hinted, pushing aside a low hanging branch so Jim could duck through.

The two had been walking for a few hours now (approximately three hours, 13 minutes and 24 seconds) and still no sign of the remaining away team. Instead the two had found mosquito like creatures, mud and the occasional spiky branch if they were lucky. Jim wiped at the sweat beading on his brow, scowling slightly.

"Is it…ants?" Jim gestured to a nest on a nearby yellow leaf. Small ant-like insects scurried along the nest, each carrying what appeared to be sap in their two sets of pincers.

"Fascinating, but no. What I had 'spied' was formerly thought to be native to Earth and also included in your mission briefing," Spock added, studying the ants briefly before continuing forward. Jim frowned behind him. While the yellow shirt he wore clung to his body with sweat and mud his first officer looked ruffled but almost impeccable. No visible mud anywhere and only a small tear along the back of his shirt. Jim pouted. How was that fair?

Turning back to the situation at hand, he thought back on Spock's hint. Smug bastard knew he hadn't read the brief!

"Is it…ummm…air?" Jim guessed weakly, well and truly over their game. The Vulcan raised an eyebrow as he stopped walking.

"Do you forfeit Jim?" The captain ignored the way his heart picked up speed as those dark eyes focused on him and nodded sheepishly. Spock gestured to a small toadstool behind Jim's boot with a red cap and white spots.

"A mushroom? I thought you said it started with the letter 'a'?" Jim accused, glancing down at the fungi.

"Correct; Amanita Muscaria. As I previously stated only found on Earth and the subject of-" Spock suddenly broke off and cocked his head slightly, turning to face the direction they had come from. Jim straightened, shifting from irritable to alert in an instant.

"I hear something of great mass coming towards our location. No large life forms were detected on this planet, yet it does not sound of mechanic origin either. I…do not understand," the Vulcan trailed off, puzzled. Jim frowned before he began to hear a faint crashing noise. The small puddle to their right began to ripple as the earth beneath their feet vibrated softly.

What fresh hell was this? Jim opened his mouth to suggest they make themselves scarce before a thunderous roar ripped through the air. The hair on the back of his neck stood on end as he stared wide eyed at Spock.

As one they sprinted forward, hurtling through the undergrowth as whatever the hell it was behind them grew louder. Leaves and branches scratched at his face but Jim ignored the sting, every nerve end on fire with adrenaline. The ground shook violently and the snapping of trees was closer. Jim's lungs began to burn from the exertion as sweat blurred his vision. Another roar rumbled behind them leaving his ears ringing.

And so when Spock grasped his hand and veered left Jim was entirely unprepared.

Stumbling, Spock easily supported his captain's weight and threw them both under the exposed root system of a giant tree, hidden within the large hollow. Jim gasped for breath and Spock kept his hands clenched on Jim's biceps as whatever was following them stopped moving.

Jim's heart found a place in his throat as the deafening silence stretched impossibly long, almost as if the jungle itself was collectively holding its breath. Harsh breathing was heard with a soft rumble just out of their line of sight.

A snarl rang out, closer this time. Jim felt Spock's hands tighten minutely. What felt like an eternity passed before the crashing resumed, fading away this time until Jim couldn't hear it any longer.

"Oh shit," Jim breathed, slumping against Spock.

"Indeed," the Vulcan murmured in agreement. Shock shot through Jim as he snapped out of his relieved daze.

Nestled against Spock as he was, he could feel the Vulcans hard chest against his back and his hands still protectively clutching the captain to him. A spike of something else shot through him and he lunged away, face beet red.

"S-sorry," he spluttered, looking anywhere but at his first officer. Smooth Jim, real smooth, he thought to himself irritably. What was it about Spock that reduced him to a teenage girl with a crush? He'd lost count of how many girls (and the occasional boy) had fallen into his bed during the academy, but now when it counted he was useless.

Spock is different, Jim thought firmly. He wasn't a fleeting attraction, and he sure as hell didn't want anything casual. Spock tore through the layers Jim covered himself with, peeling back one horror at a time to reveal the true James T Kirk. And instead of running as others had done, the Vulcan stayed by his side unwaveringly.

The Vulcan in question raised an eyebrow, amusement glinting in his eyes. Humans were so fascinating. Jim cleared his throat and rose to a crouch, studying his surroundings.

They appeared to be beneath a massive tree, the circumference of which spanned meters on either side. The roots were exposed leaving a sizeable hollow beneath, high enough that Jim could almost stand and wide enough he could cross to the other side in several steps.

All in all not a bad place to hide on an unknown planet, particularly after being chased by whatever the hell that was.

"So…no significant life forms huh?" Jim asked sceptically. Spock crossed his legs and looked up at his captain, back straight and hands clasped in his lap as he thought.

"I personally reviewed the results of the preliminary and secondary scans. The largest form of life on this planet is a species of small bird, certainly no predators to speak of," Spock said softly, deep in thought.

Jim took the chance to peel off the yellow over shirt in disgust, balling it up and throwing it to the opposite side. Left in only his thin black under shirt Jim supposed it would have to do. He missed the heated gaze that swept over him, flicking away a moment later.

Spock clenched his jaw and refocused his train of thought.

Before long (approximately 12.32 minutes) the pale green bark of the tree began to glow softly, illuminating the small space. Jim's eyes widened in amazement as the light pulsated gently, dimming and brightening in a slow beat.

"Hey Spock, have you ever seen anything like this?" Jim asked in wonder, staring at the wood. Spock blinked as he glanced around, taking in the sight around him.

"No, we had nothing like this on Vulcan. It is quite beautiful. Perhaps a response to the setting of the sun?" Spock murmured. Jim nodded mutely, glancing over at the Vulcan.

Leaning back on his hands and legs crossed, the young captain had never seen his usually stoic first officer so relaxed. The green luminosity reflecting off his skin gave Spock an almost ethereal glow, causing Jim's breath to catch and mouth go dry. He had the fleeting thought that this man would be his undoing.

And as those dark eyes locked with his own, Jim couldn't help but think that he didn't mind.


	3. The one with the stream~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Yeah…don't own Star Trek and each time I admit this a small part of me dies :'(

Jim groaned as he rolled onto his back, his muscles and spine protesting sharply. For a disorienting moment he wondered why his bed was so hard before the events of the past 24 hours came rushing back. With a gasp Jim sat up, wildly looking left and right.

Spock, legs crossed and deep in meditation, raised one eyebrow. Jim sighed and rose to his feet, stretching languidly now that he knew the Vulcan was still there.

After a meagre dinner of berries they had found, the two had debated longer than usual over who would take first watch. Spock insisted the logical solution would be for Jim to rest (poor human that he was) while he sat watch the whole night. Jim had stubbornly refused, maintaining that Spock needed his rest too and he was the captain so there.

That was when the bastard nerve pinched him.

Jim scowled at the stoic figure on the ground in front of him, and resolved to give the Vulcan the silent treatment. His shoulders sagged in defeat. Yeah, maybe not… Jim thought to himself sullenly.

Said Vulcan gracefully slid to his feet, fixing his captain with a perfectly neutral expression. Jim pouted and looked away. Stupid, smug Vulcan.

"I suggest we investigate the immediate area for any sign of disturbance after last night," Spock suggested, striding toward the outer roots. At the edge of the hollow he paused, glancing over his shoulder at Jim. Deciding to save the sulking for another time, the young captain nodded to his first.

"Yeah that sounds like a decent place to start," Jim agreed, moving to pass Spock. As their shoulders were level, he threw a look at the Vulcan.

Don't think this gets you off the hook, his narrowed eyes seemed to say.

Illogical human, Spock's amused gaze shot back.

Just as quickly the moment was gone and Jim emerged into the mottled light of the jungle. After the soft green of the tree hollow, the bright colours native to the planet hurt his eyes. Hot pink and electric blue ferns surrounded them with splashes of orange or purple in the forms of vines and large leaves, most of the trees muted shades of pale pink or beige. A niggling feeling twinged at the back of his head, taking him a moment to place it.

None of the vegetation was disturbed. At all. And yet something large enough to break down trees had passed through here, they had heard it themselves.

"What the hell is wrong with this place?" Jim muttered, uneasiness rising in his chest at the thought of the crew, his crew, lost with something like that out there. And for the first time the absolute crappiness of their situation really hit home.

They had no way of contacting The Enterprise, no way of finding his fellow officers (who the jungle could have eaten by now) and to top everything off there was some kind of creature out there.

Which could apparently teleport if the lack of tracks were to be believed. Jim huffed. Ok maybe not teleport (because really, if his luck was that bad he would have died long ago) but get around somehow without leaving a leaf out of place.

A rustle from above caused Jim to look up, mouth falling open in surprise.

What the hell?!

Roughly 15 meters above the captain (and steadily increasing) Spock scaled a nearby tree effortlessly, smoothly ascending to the canopy in no time at all. Despite his confusion, Jim couldn't help but admire the fluid movement.

Within a couple minutes Spock landed with a light thud in front of his captain, not a hair out of place.

"There are few unique landmarks, with the exception of a stream ahead. It is uncertain which direction we are currently heading as there was no sign of the clearing where we began," Spock reported, hands clasped behind his back.

"No sign of the crew either?" Jim ventured, though he knew the answer anyway.

"Negative," Spock deadpanned. Jim sighed in frustration and guilt.

If he hadn't have wandered off like he always did, twelve lives wouldn't be in danger. If he was a decent captain he wouldn't be in this situation. His hands clenched into fists at his sides and he glanced away, internally ranting at himself.

Two fingers gently touched his cheek and Jim swore he felt his heart stop.

Turning the blondes face toward him, Spock stared into the cerulean depths with as much certainty as he could.

"It is not your fault."

"I was the one who-"

"It. Is. Not. Your. Fault," Spock interrupted, face inches from his captain.

Jim swallowed thickly, not quite able to tear himself away from that heavy gaze. He basked in the certainty that coloured the Vulcans voice and something he couldn't quite name swirling in those chocolate orbs. Whatever it was he wanted more.

Almost of their own accord, Jims eyes began to close as he instinctively leaned forward. Spock tilted his head slightly as their breath mingled, dark eyes smouldering.

And that was when Jim realised what he was doing.

Eyes wide he furiously backpedaled, waving his arms comically.

"I-I need to go over here!" he exclaimed, face a dark red and eyes still wide. Without waiting for the Vulcan's reply, he lurched through the undergrowth in the direction of the stream.

Spock let out a long suffering sigh.

Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit, Jim's mind played on repeat. He had almost screwed up everything in one stupid move, had almost lost years worth of friendship and the best first officer he could ask for because he couldn't control himself. He should have been better than this, and poor Spock probably had no idea what he had almost done.

You're meant to be his best friend! What the shit was that?! Jim thought furiously, face still feeling like a furnace. He knew Spock didn't see him that way (had come to terms with it months ago) and had resolved to hide his feelings.

Look how well that turned out, he thought, stomping his way toward the stream. He couldn't hear Spock behind him so he took a moment to lean against a yellow barked tree, taking a deep, calming breath and willing away the red still dusting his cheeks.

Then again, the way Spock had looked at him…

No! Bad Jim! You've gone so long without sex its messing with your brain! He rubbed the balls of his hands irritably over his eyes. The best thing was to just pretend it never happened.

Lifting his head he nodded to himself, that was by far the best the best course of action. Spock must not have realised what he was doing or he would have found himself flat on his ass, assuming the Vulcan didn't kill him.

Feeling much lighter than before, Jim was completely confident he could face his first officer without turning beet red. He could do this, no sweat. Jim Kirk didn't believe in no-win situations after all.

Practically bouncing he came to the edge of the stream, the soft bubbling filling his ears. Suddenly feeling the dirt clinging to his skin Jim grimaced. Peeling off his black undershirt and beginning to unbuckle his belt, he stepped closer to the stream.

The sound of a throat clearing sounded from directly above him and Jim jumped violently, tripping over his feet and into the cold water with a very unmanly shriek.

When he resurfaced it was to see his first officer perched on the top of a boulder he had walked past, hands resting on his knees in meditation.

The fact that he was also half naked was just rubbing salt into the wound at this point.

Hair dripping wet and clad only in Starfleet issue black pants, Spock stared blankly at him, eyebrow raised. Jim spluttered and began to turn red.

Again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't reviewed yet (or even if you have :P) flick me a review to let me know how the storys going so far. I'm a bit of a marshmallow when it comes to insults so please keep it at 'constructive criticism'


	4. The one with the fish~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Nope don't own.

After what Jim had named "The Stream Incident", his resolve to hide his feelings just got so much harder. Each time he looked at his first officer all he saw were those dark eyes, rich with an emotion he couldn't name as the Vulcans breath whispered against his lips.

Jim shivered as a spike of arousal shot through him.

Look at his shoes look at his shoes look at his shoes, the blonde chanted to himself, staring steadily at the back of Spock's boots and definitely nothing else. Absolutely nowhere else. Nope.

God dammit, Jim thought irritably, his gaze sweeping upwards.

Spock for his part didn't seem to realise what had almost occurred hours earlier, his behaviour the same as usual. Jim couldn't help but wonder if he was disappointed or not.

The young captain was a firm believer in not having sex with friends or colleagues. He had learned that the hard way through his academy days; as soon as sex was involved people got hurt or left.

And he couldn't do that to Spock. Not because of some noble sense of duty (he'd always seen rules as guidelines anyway) but from a purely selfish motive; Jim needed the Vulcan. Needed him like the air in his lungs, or the blood in his veins.

Spock is the sandwich to my Scotty, the young captain thought to himself in amusement.

Marvelling to himself at how romantically poetic he was, Jim almost walked into the back of his first officer. Glancing at him from the corner of his eye, Spock raised a hand for silence and scanned the surrounding jungle intently.

Jim froze and did the same, his guard going up straight away. Moments passed and Spock lowered his hand, turning to face his captain.

"My apologies, I thought I saw something that was cause for alarm but it must have been nothing," Spock murmured, confusion in his eyes. Jim strained to listen to the surrounding jungle but the soft gurgle of the stream beside them masked all background noise.

"And you're sure it was nothing? What was it you thought you saw?" Jim asked; guard still up and body tense. If Spock thought he saw something, nine times out of ten he saw something. It was these instincts Jim had come to rely on, and the notion of them failing left him uneasy.

Spock paused for a moment, seeming to internally debate what he wanted to say.

"I believe it was humanoid, approximately five feet and eleven inches. I was unable to see any other distinctive features," he said slowly, as if in thought.

"And it wasn't a member of the away team?"

"Negative. I would have recognised a crew member," Spock responded.

Jim sighed. Awesome, as if the last creature wasn't enough now there were people stalking them too.

"Ok, well let's just keep moving until we figure out what to do," Jim said, relaxing slightly.

The two had agreed the best course of action would be to head towards shelter for the night, Spock leading the way based on the landmarks he'd seen that morning.

Jim's stomach growled loudly, effectively breaking the silence. Spock paused and Jim coughed in embarrassment, for once not blushing.

"So…maybe we should look for lunch?" Jim ventured, clearing his throat. Spock nodded glancing to the stream.

Neon pink fish ranging from one to seven inches in length swam just below the surface of the water, looking strikingly similar to the koi of earth. As he observed them, one of the creatures snapped out a long tongue with a small set of jaws on the end to snatch an insect mid-flight.

Perhaps not koi then.

Jim was already sharpening a stick, legs crossed as he struck the end with a shard of stone. Finally something to eat that wasn't berries!

Before long the captain was knee deep in water, pants rolled up and black shirt in a pile where it was dry. Standing stock still he watched as the fish grew accustomed to his presence, moving through the water lazily.

Forcing himself to stay still, Jim focused on a larger one just hovering outside his striking range, swimming closer before darting away again. Lunging, he would have speared the damn thing but instead stepped on a slimy rock, pitching backwards into the water with a curse.

Meanwhile Spock had collected a decent amount of berries, content to sit cross legged on the ground watching his captain flounder through the water. He would have assisted him yet the desire to stay dry outweighed it. He did not like water, thus the logical decision was to not get wet.

It also had nothing to do with the desire to watch Jim. Nothing to do with the way the muscles in his back flexed when he flailed (and really, there was no other word for it) or the way he would send a sheepish smile towards the stoic Vulcan after each failure.

Nothing at all.

"Yes! Die fish, die!" Jim cried happily, having finally managed to capture his prey. Wading through the water, he sat the fish on a large stone before starting a small fire with some of sticks he had found. Rubbing them together briskly, soon smoke began to float slowly upwards. Blowing over the small ember, Jim coaxed it into a tiny flame which soon became a large enough fire to cook his fish over.

"That skill is not part of standard Starfleet training," Spock observed, raising a brow in question. Wiping his hands on his pants, Jim climbed to his feet with a nod.

"Yeah, well I went camping a lot as a kid. There wasn't much else to do where I grew up," Jim explained while he worked.

"What about you? Hang out after school with your Vulcan buddies?" Jim asked jokingly, and Spock visibly tensed.

"Negative. 'Buddies' are not beneficial towards academic advancements and thus illogical," the Vulcan monotoned, and Jim realised he must have hit a sore spot. He shrugged.

"I didn't really have a lot of friends either, my IQ intimidated them a bit I think. That and apparently getting into fights all the time isn't the best way to make friends," the blonde explained, poking at the coals with a stick. Spock rose an eyebrow.

"I find myself…surprised," the Vulcan trailed off.

"Why? You didn't picture me as a little shit of a kid already?" Jim murmured, staring at the embers.

"You and I were not so different," Spock murmured, and Jim glanced up at him.

"I doubt you were teased for being too smart, I mean you grew up on Vulcan," the blonde said in surprise.

"Not for being too smart, no. Rather my lineage and my mother in particular," Spock replied.

"Really? I would have thought Vulcans were too smart for that kind of bullshit," Jim snorted.

"What did you do about it?" he added, and the Vulcan rose an eyebrow.

"What makes you believe I 'did' anything?" Spock retorted, and Jim smiled.

"Because I know you," he replied simply, warmth in his eyes.

"I…broke the main instigator's nose," Spock admitted, eyes on the ground. He glanced up in surprise at the sound of Jim laughing.

"Oh my god, that's hilarious. Served him right I bet," Jim trailed off, smiling. Spock allowed the corners of his own mouth to quirk slightly.

"Indeed."

Moments later the scent of cooked fish wafted through the air and Spock fought the urge to scrunch up his nose in disgust, instead taking the time to meditate slightly upwind. Relaxing into his crossed leg position, the Vulcan inhaled deeply. And held it, frozen in place.

A figure stared at him from the tree line opposite.

Not letting on that he had noticed, Spock maintained the façade of meditation, studying the half obscured woman.

He was at least certain of that; though her face was obscured, the slight build could only belong to a female. The Vulcan narrowed his eyes as he focused on her but was unable to make out any other features, the mottled light and brightly coloured ferns obscuring her.

The woman extended an arm toward him, and as Spock rose to his feet in response her body flared a blinding white, leaving him blinking at the brightness. Jim cried out somewhere to his left and as his eyes readjusted he gasped softly.

Her flesh was black, cracking and disintegrating before their eyes.

The woman let out an ear piercing shriek before crumbling to ash, lurching forward and arm still reaching for him.

Lunging forward, Spock crossed the stream in record time, Jim scrambling behind. Pushing aside ferns and small plants, the Vulcan searched the ground and immediate area.

Before long (approximately one minute, 34 seconds) Spock straightened from where he had been combing through the foliage, eyes troubled.

"Did you find her?" Jim huffed, soaked from his rush through the stream.

"Negative. There is nothing at all; no ash, no marks in the soil…nothing," Spock murmured, a small furrow appearing between his eyebrows and tone mystified. Jim stared at the Vulcan.

"What?! But she was right there," Jim cried incredulously, gesticulating uselessly towards the ferns. Spock said nothing, his gaze thoughtful. Jim wanted to grind his teeth in frustration.

The Vulcan, for the first time in his life, cursed his eidetic memory. Flesh crumbling away from her form, the blackened arm reaching toward him… It took more than a little of his hardened self-control not to shudder.

A soft pressure on his shoulder brought him back to the present, Jim squeezed his hand minutely. Tentatively, he placed his own hand over his captain's, a silent thank you.

Because Jim would always bring Spock back.

/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dunno how I feel about this one; to be honest I think it could have been better :s that said I promise to make it up to you by releasing the next one in a couple days! Thanks for all the kudos and comments ^^


	5. The one with the cave~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: nooope don't own!

After the events of earlier the mood was much more sombre.

The two had continued to head to their previous destination before nightfall, rather than risk being out in the open after dark. Considering the horrors this planet had thrown at them, even Jim (of all people!) saw the sense in erring on the side of caution.

Once more walking slightly behind his first officer, the young captain couldn't quite shake the paranoia that they were being watched.

Cracked, black skin flashed through his mind.

Jim shivered.

Judging by the tense set of blue shoulders ahead of him the young captain wasn't the only one rattled.

The sharp and impossibly loud crackle of the communicator made both of them jump, Jim scrambling to pull it from his back pocket.

"Enterprise to Captain Kirk, come in Kirk," Uhura's voice filtered through the small speaker, grainy and distant but there all the same.

Grinning broadly in relief Jim flipped open the communicator.

"Kirk here, you have no idea how good it is to hear your voice."

Laughter answered him, and dimly he realised they must have been worried.

"Dammit Jim we thought the worst had happened!" McCoy's gruff voice crackled out.

"The hobgoblin there with you?" 

Spock stepped forward, fingers ghosting over the back of Jim's hand to press the button. The warmth of the Vulcans hand on Jims skin sent a shiver shooting up his spine.

"Affirmative. Were you able to beam up the remaining away team?"

"Yeah, theyre all here. Scratched and bruised but here," McCoy answered, and Jim let out a breath he hadn't realised hed been holding. Spock squeezed the captain's hand gently before falling back to his side, leaving Jim's hand oddly cold.

"Wait, so why are we still here is everyone was beamed out?" the captain asked, a furrow between his eyebrows. Bones sighed in a loud crackle of the speaker.

"Jim, your life signals both disappeared. We thought you were…well you gave us a hell of a scare," McCoy finished gruffly, and Jim smiled softly at the worry in his voice.

"Aw Bones you do care!" Jim cried happily and McCoy growled.

"Someone has to you infant," he drawled back, the familiar banter making Jim grin.

"So…no beam up then?" he ventured, already knowing the answer.

"We still have no lock on your signals, the fact we got through at all is nothing short of a miracle. Its like some kind of static storm," Uhura's voice crackled softly, before Chekov's heavy accent filtered through.

"Da, ze interference is too strong keptin and ze atmosphere is too unstable to risk deploying a shuttle. Ze welocity needed and turbulence experienced vould be too great until ze atmospheric conditions return to normal lewels," Chekov finished and Jim sighed.

"So no supplies or back up either? Awesome," Jim added drily.

"Just sit tight and hope that damn Kirk luck holds out," Bones added, his voice sounding more distant than before.

"Alright got it. Keep us posted guys," Jim responded, frowning slightly.

His only answer was static.

Sighing, the young captain stuffed the once more useless communicator into his back pocket. Well that had been enlightening.

"At least now we know what happened to the crew," Jim said, relief in his voice.

"Indeed. So it would appear our objective is now to survive," Spock said thoughtfully, clasping his hands behind his back.

Jim idly wondered if that was a comfort thing.

"Well I guess our first move is to find somewhere we can lay low for a while, we were already heading towards shelter anyway so might as well keep moving," he reasoned, and the Vulcan nodded.

"We are nearing a large rocky outcrop, perhaps there is a cave we could use," Spock suggested.

"Lead the way Mr Spock," Jim gestured, and the Vulcan stepped forward, raising an eyebrow.

Several hours (approximately two hours, 11 minutes) passed before the two came upon the outcrop. Massive boulders and a honeycombed cliff face towered above them, the sandstone like substance a pale blue.

The rock face in front of them stretched over the canopy, the soft blue littered all over with small caves and a mustard coloured moss.

Almost in line with the canopy, a good 15 meters above them looked like a decent sized cave so the two agreed to head for that one.

Though the rocky face was tall the honeycomb quality left no shortage of handholds and Jim rubbed his hands together briskly before gingerly before beginning his ascent. Spock hovered (there was no other word for it) beneath him as if to catch the young captain. Jim huffed.

"Its not the first time ive climbed something Spock," he threw over his shoulder.

"Indeed." Spock replied, and Jim could practically hear that eyebrow rise.

The Vucan could be such a mother hen at times.

Below, Spock suddenly stiffened.

"Jim, you must move faster," he called urgently, causing jim to pause. Glancing back over his shoulder, the young captain gave a start as the Vulcan was already level with him.

Gaping, Jim mumbled something about Spiderman before scrambling up the rock face. From their height looking back Jim could see the canopy shaking as something huge pushed its way through.

"Oh shit!" Jim exclaimed, redoubling his efforts.

Spock stayed just below his captain though Jim knew he was capable of moving much faster.

Stubborn Vulcan, Jim thought fondly, before a vicious roar ripped through the air. The hair on the back of his neck stood on end and a sharp burst of adrenaline shot through him.

Now was not the time to be daydreaming about his first officer!

The crunching of vegetation and thudding against the ground grew louder, and still they had a few meters to go from the cave ledge above them.

His palms hurt as he scraped his hands, favouring speed over care.

The creature roared again, closer this time.

Three meters to go.

Jims lungs burned and his hands shook.

Two meters.

Spock came up alongside him.

One.

Jim cried out as the world became a blur of colour, just catching a glimpse of a massive black snout as Spock threw him up and over the lip of the cave.

Jim landed with a thud as Spock slid beside him, the pair shuffling quickly away from the edge.

An ear splitting screech echoed loudly through the cave. Jim fought the urge to cover his ears as whatever it was snarled and shrieked just outside, the cacophony making him want to curl up into a ball.

Instead he grit his teeth and stayed low, edging toward the lip of the cave. Belatedly, he realised this must be whatever had chased them last time.

The rock scraped against his already sore hands as he slowly inched forward, ignoring Spock's warning hand on his arm as he peeked over the edge.

Cold fear washed through his body.

A giant bipedal lizard stood below, shrieking and snapping with its two heads. Neither possessed any eyes but instead had two slits (Which Jim assumed were nostrils) and wickedly curved teeth. Each tooth was razor sharp and meters in length, overlapping one another and taking up the majority of the creature's face.

Dark, almost black glossy scales glinted as its impossibly long tail swished from side to side, the razor spines along the appendage looking lethal.

Both heads gnashed their teeth together before snapping up, directly facing Jim.

"Fuck that!" the captain exclaimed, scrambling back from the edge quickly.

There was no freaking way he was ever leaving this cave. Ever.

The rock shook softly and he realised the monster was throwing itself bodily at the cliff.

Nope. Never leaving.

Spock raised an eyebrow at him before glancing over himself. Moments later the Vulcan's face was ashen.

"No 'fascinating'?" Jim whispered softly. Spock stared at him incredulously, both eyebrows raised.

Covering his mouth to stifle a snicker, Jim glanced around the small cave.

The ceiling wasn't high enough for either of them to stand properly, but what it lacked in height it more than made up for in beauty.

All across the walls large crystals glowed in brilliant colours; soft yellows, pinks and purples against the pale blue of the rock.

Jim had to admit, despite all the crazy shit the planet threw at them (one of which still snarled outside), it would have to be one of the most beautiful worlds he had ever had the misfortune of marooning on.

And there had been a few.

The growling and screeching outside finally stopped, and Spock risked a glance outside.

"The creature is gone," he said softly, shuffling back to his captain. Jim shivered.

"Ive had nightmares that were preferable to that thing," he muttered, bringing his knees to his chest and leaning back against the cave wall.

To his surprise, the rock was actually warm to the touch, and Jim found himself relaxing into it.

Spock crossed his legs opposite, back still ramrod straight but clearly more at ease now that the danger had finally passed.

"Indeed," the Vulcan murmured at length. Jim raised an eyebrow (or attempted to; each time he tried both stubbornly rose) and stared at his first officer.

"Just 'indeed'?" he asked incredulously. Spock did the Vulcan equivalent of a shrug.

"I would not know, Vulcans do not dream."

"That must suck; dreams can be awesome," Jim mumbled without thinking, and Spock smirked.

"So I have heard."

Jim flushed bright red at the implications of that particular comeback before laughing softly.

"You sneaky Vulcan! You totally just turned that dirty!" Jim accused. Though his face was once more impassive, Spock's eyes shone with amusement.

"Dirty, captain?" Jim shook his head with a smile.

"You always know more than you let on," he said fondly. Blue eyes danced in humour and Spock fought a smile.

"Perhaps," he murmured, gaze flicking down to Jim's lips.

And just like that the atmosphere became charged as the pair became almost hyper aware of eachother.

Jim's mouth dried and Spock's heart hammered in his side.

Swallowing thickly, the young captain couldn't seem to break away from the chocolate gaze in front of him.

Hypnotic, he thought vaguely.

This time Spock moved first, slowly and hesitantly leaning forward.

Jim's hands shook and his heart leapt to his throat. Was Spock…? Did Spock want this too? The Vulcans hot breath whispered over his lips and all Jim had to do was lean forward.

A sudden torrent of thoughts like a cold bucket of water crashed over him, chilling him to the bone.

Did Spock understand what they were doing? Or maybe he trying to copy what had almost occurred earlier- an experiment of sorts? Was Jim's affection for the Vulcan blinding him?

Eyes wide, Jim stumbled backwards, face once more an impressive red.

"I-I need some…air," he threw over his shoulder weakly, scrambling to the mouth of the cave.

Spock allowed himself a gentle huff of frustration. He had come so close that time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys happy valentines day! I actually really liked this chapter, let me know how you felt about it and flick me a review :) thanks as usual go to all those fabulous readers who already do- your feedback and assurance is what keeps this fic going! Apologies for probably destroying Chekov's accent and for any spelling errors, this is unbeta'd :P


	6. The one with the suit~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Still don't own star trek :/ do I even need to keep putting these in?

Jim brushed a shaky hand through his hair, willing his face to cool down. Taking a deep breath he pushed what had just happened from his mind, sinking to a crouch on the ground.

If he thought about Spock's eyes or mouth he would just go red again.

Not that he was blushing- James T Kirk never blushed. Maybe occasionally his face appeared a little flushed but that was something completely different.

He brushed the tips of his fingers over his lips.

God dammit, he thought irritably as his face heated up once more.

Jim knew he needed to confront things with his First Officer eventually, (if only to sort their crap out) but dimly he realised there was something else.

Jim was scared.

Despite popular belief, he wasn't an idiot or a masochist.

He knew Spock would reject him, knew the Vulcan wasn't interested in someone like him, and yet he feared that moment with every fibre of his being.

The young captain ran a hand through his hair again with a sigh. Jim would never claim to be all knowing, but of three things he was certain:

One: no win scenarios were bullshit.

Two: if Bones says he doesn't have a hypospray behind his back he's lying.

And three: watching Spock walk away would destroy him.

Dread weighed heavily in his gut and Jim sighed dejectedly. He was so screwed.

A cool breeze fanned over his face, and Jim realised the sun must have gone down. The cave mouth was just below the canopy giving him a good view of the jungle below lighting up.

Mosses and various fungi glowed softly, illuminating the vegetation in pale colours. It was in this soft light that Jim noticed something that did not quite belong.

A man stood meters below, spiky blonde hair and a black suit. Raising an arm, the man beckoned him forward.

Jim stood slowly, walking calmly to the steep drop in front of him.

His eyes, Jim thought sluggishly. I need to see his eyes.

He shuffled forward another step, inches away from the edge. The man below smirked wickedly, arm still outstretched in invitation.

Jim stood on the ledge, the cool wind from earlier whipping through his hair and across his face. Hesitantly, he stretched one foot over the lip.

He could hear nothing but a soft buzzing on the edge of his consciousness, a vague warning ignored by the greater desire to see that man's eyes.

Jim frowned. No, not simply desire; need. The force of which burned through his very being, a tidal wave of necessity.

And all he had to do was step forward.

Foot still over the edge, Jim shifted his weight gently and tipped towards the lethal rocks below.

Calm blossomed through him and he smiled for a moment before gasping in shock as he was pulled backwards, body slamming against the cave floor.

Spock pinned his captain down, straddling the narrow hips as he struggled. The Vulcan grit his teeth and roughly grabbed Jim's wrists.

Snarling, Jim threw himself left and right in a blind rage.

Spock stared down at his captain in shock, the shake of his hands the only thing hinting at the horror beneath his calm exterior.

Jim's usually vibrant cerulean eyes were a lifeless grey colour, unfocused as he struggled and hissed like a thing possessed. Forcing more pressure to still the lurching man beneath him, Spock leaned forward.

"Jim, cease your struggling," he ordered.

At the sound of his voice the blonde redoubled his efforts to escape, body writhing against the Vulcan.

A fleeting image passed unbidden through Spock's mind and he was thankful the low light would disguise his suddenly emerald face.

Forcing down the illogical emotion, one glance at his captain's listless eyes brought him back to the situation at present.

"Jim, you must listen to me. Fight it," he tried again and Jim growled, gnashing his teeth together. He continued to wildly flail and fight, scratching at the Vulcan's wrists and arms where he could.

It was then that Spock realised he felt nothing coming from Jim. His hands clenched against the man's skin and he felt nothing.

This was not his captain.

"Jim!" Spock cried over the lump in his throat, unable to mask the terror in his voice.

And that one word shot through the haze of Jim's mind like a shaft of sunlight.

That was Spock…he thought numbly.

Spock is…scared?

Jim stilled. Spock stared down at him in surprise, hope filling his chest.

"Jim?" he asked cautiously, hands still grasping the captain's wrists. Slowly those dead grey eyes were flooded with blue, the cloudiness within receding.

Spock allowed himself to slump forward in relief, his head resting against Jim's collarbone. Just as quickly, a myriad of surface emotions fluttered against his consciousness; confusion, shock, lust and embarrassment.

The Vulcan hid a smile.

"Uh…watcha doing there Spock?" Jim asked cautiously, eyes widened comically and utterly confused as to how the Vulcan came to be straddling him.

Not that he minded.

One moment he was standing at the mouth of the cave, lost in thought and the next…Jim mentally shrugged to himself.

After all, he'd woken to worse things than his sexy First Officer sprawled over him.

"My apologies," Spock murmured, breath warm against his skin before the Vulcan slowly sat up, releasing Jim's wrists and shifting away from his captain.

Though Jim noted he had placed himself pointedly in front of the cave.

"Um…what happened…?" he asked again,

Spock shifted to his usual cross legged position, hands resting on his knees.

"I am not entirely certain," he confessed, and Jim rose his eyebrows.

"Well that clarifies things," the captain said dryly.

"It was as if you were hypnotised. You…attempted to step off the ledge," Spock said quietly, his voice slightly strained. Jim paled.

"Oh shit."

"Indeed. You responded somewhat violently to external stimuli and so I was forced to restrain you."

"Which is when I woke up?" Jim finished, eyebrows furrowed. Spock nodded in assent.

It was then that Jim noticed the ugly scratches across the Vulcans skin, trails of green where the skin was broken.

"Did I…did I do that?" he asked in horror, and Spock glanced down.

His silence sent Jim's heart plummeting.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry Spock…I…I had no idea-"

"You were not yourself," the Vulcan cut in, and Jim opened his mouth to object.

"Jim," he said forcefully, and the young captain paused. Sighing in defeat, he buried the guilt for the moment.

"Fine, lets just get something to eat and go from there," he said, pulling out the berries from earlier.

Dinner (if you could call it that) was somewhat strained, as the two ate their meagre meal in silence. No matter how badly Jim concentrated, he couldn't fill in the gaps of his memory.

There was something just on the edge of his consciousness, just barely out of reach. Jim sighed in frustration.

Something about…a suit?

Ugh, that doesn't make sense at all!

"Perhaps it would be a good idea to sleep," Spock suggested, as the young captain growled in exasperation.

"Only if you do," Jim declared, folding his arms stubbornly. He knew the Vulcan had been awake for a full two days, surely he would need to sleep by now.

Besides, stirring up his First Officer was therapeutic.

Spock simply rose an eyebrow.

"I am Vulcan and do not need to sleep as often as a human."

"I am Vulcan," Jim parroted childishly, his voice an imitation of the stoic First Officer's.

"I do not understand what logic-"

"I do not understand-"

"Cease this-"

"Cease-"

"Jim!"

"Jim!" 

Finally the Vulcan huffed in irritation, and Jim dissolved into laughter. At the sound, the Vulcan's annoyance evaporated and the edge of his lips twitched slightly.

He realised it had been a while since Jim had laughed, and he found that he had missed it.

Eventually (approximately one hour, 20 minutes later) the young captain fell asleep propped against the rock wall, ironically after almost an hour of refusing to sleep.

Spock was thankful there was no need for a nerve pinch tonight.

Hours passed as Spock slipped into a light meditation, slowly rebuilding his mental shields after the events of the day. Relaxing, he felt the knot of anxiety in his stomach begin to loosen.

The sound of something shifting tightened it again.

Tense, Spock cracked open one eye to survey his surroundings. Whatever the noise was it had been faint; too faint for a human to discern.

A Vulcan however…

Slowly, Spock inhaled and opened both eyes. He had meditated sufficiently.

Jim stirred in his sleep, frowning before rolling over. Lying on hard rock was not conducive to a good night's sleep, he had realised.

Shrugging out of his blue over shirt, Spock balled it up and placed it beneath the other man's head, careful not to wake him.

Sighing softly in his sleep, Jim didn't stir again.

Shuffling past him quietly, Spock walked at a half crouch towards the outer ledge. Perhaps it was nothing, the chances of which were a staggering 87.3%.

Or it was the remaining 12.7%, he reasoned. And in Jim Kirk's case, logical percentages were often turned upside down.

Grey, lifeless eyes flashed across his mind and he shuddered.

Resolving to take the time to rebuild his shields more thoroughly at a more convenient time, Spock straightened out as he came upon the front of the cave.

Fascinating, he thought briefly, noting the dull glow of the plants.

Gazing out, the Vulcan saw nothing else of importance. Perhaps it was nothing noteworthy after all; merely one of the countless mundane jungle noises. After a moment he slowly turned back, crouching slightly as he moved further into the cave. The back of his neck prickled and he glanced over his shoulder for a moment, pausing briefly.

And promptly felt his insides freeze up.

The woman stood barely a metre from him, arm outstretched.

Her skin was porcelain, stark white against the backdrop of her chestnut hair. Bloodless lips opened and closed and her chocolate eyes were wide in terror.

He couldn't move, couldn't breathe.

"Mother?!" Spock choked out.

/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeahhhhh you hate me right? Hehe ^^ As always thanks heaps for the support guys and flick me a review! I know it's a little shorter than the last one but I couldn't squeeze in the extra words without compromising the chapter :P
> 
> Oh and did I mention to review? ;)
> 
> Next chapter is a big one guys so I'll update soon!


	7. The one with the ashes~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own star trek ._.

"Mother?!" Spock choked out.

The woman's eyes widened at the word, glistening with unshed tears. Spock wanted to look away, needed to look away but found he could not.

A floodgate of memories washed over him; memories of olive skin and warm eyes.

Of days kneeling by the only bed of roses on Vulcan, the soothing heat of the sun on his back.

Memories of a hand brushing through his bangs, smoothing his hair back from his forehead when he was ill.

A smile rivalling the sun as she whispered how proud of him she was.

Just as unbidden a darker memory of wide, terrified eyes as she slipped away, disappearing in the golden glow of the transporter.

Of numb shock and horror as his eyes met his father's across the room, one person missing.

Memories of a planet destroyed, the crippling loss as billions of lives were extinguished.

Spock swallowed thickly, attempting to purge the deluge of emotion from his face. Every ounce of his rapidly waning self-control focused on stilling the action of his left arm, curling his hand into a fist so he wouldn't reach out.

His mother was dead. Logically, this woman could not be the same. Reeling, Spock clenched his jaw and willed his hands to stop shaking.

"Who are you?" he whispered, and a tear rolled down her cheek in response.

Her hand shook as she reached for him, barely a foot between them.

Numbly, he thought of the irony of their situation. Hundreds of times he had replayed that scene in his head and now she stood before him once more, reaching out to him.

Footsteps echoed off the walls, the intrusion of sound jarring against his ears.

Jim's eyes widened as he took in the woman, visions of their last moments on Vulcan flashing through his mind. Slowly, he rested a hand on Spock's arm.

A muscle twitched in the Vulcan's jaw but he didn't pull away.

The woman began to shake violently as her expression turned frantic, eyes widening and mouth opening mutely. Her skin paled further and she swayed on the spot.

Spock moved to step forward and Jim's hand tightened on his arm in warning.

Jim had no idea what kind of sick fucking joke this was, all he knew was it needed to stop. Now.

Tensing his muscles to step forward, he hesitated as the woman sucked in a harsh breath, the sound a desperate rasp.

"Help me".

Jim couldn't stop Spock from lunging forward as the woman stumbled, skin rapidly turning a brilliant white.

Flashes of crumbling, burnt skin echoed through his mind as the Vulcan fell to his knees. This time he couldn't stop himself from reaching forward, desperately searching for some way to save her from what he knew was coming.

Crumpling, her form was swallowed by a blinding light as she screamed, pitching forwards. Spock cradled her in his arms as she shrieked, wide chocolate eyes laced with pain and fear.

"Please no," he whispered, barely audible as he held her. Her skin blackened and curled, flaking off in places as she suddenly went still. Her eyes seemed to look straight through him as her expression changed to one of hopelessness.

"You can't save me," she breathed, as the last of her body turned to ash.

Spock sat frozen as she slipped through his fingers, snatched up by the cold wind. He took in a shuddering breath and lowered his arms, staring at his hands.

Jim had never seen the Vulcan so broken.

Kneeling beside him, the young captain rested a hand on his arm, frowning as he felt the other man tremble through the small touch.

"Spock, listen to me," Jim began, speaking slowly and calmly. His first officer showed no sign of hearing him.

"She wasn't real. She can't have been, you have to know that," he murmured. Still the Vulcan didn't move. Without really thinking about it, Jim shifted to catch the other's gaze.

Spock's eyes were blank, staring dully ahead. Seeing but not really seeing at the same time.

When the Vulcan finally spoke, it was a flat, almost inaudible voice that met his ears.

"I could not save her."

"It wasn't your fault," Jim argued, sensing the double meaning behind the other's words.

"She reached to me and I let her fall," he continued, as if Jim hadn't spoken at all.

"Spock, you did everything-"

"She is gone because of me," the Vulcan murmured, hands shaking as he stared down at them.

"Spock no-"

"The only one to believe in me and I failed her," he whispered, and at this Jim had had enough.

Firmly grabbing the Vulcan by the shoulders, Jim forced him to meet his eyes.

"Dammit Spock listen to me! You tried your hardest to save her; you could have died but you still went back! None of it was your fault!" Jim all but yelled, pouring every ounce of belief in the Vulcan into his voice.

"Sometimes, sometimes you try your damn hardest to save them, to protect them, but in the end," he paused, eyes far away, "in the end you lose them anyway. I know the guilt and the loss sometimes feel like they're trying to suffocate you, how tempting it can be to let them. I know how easy it is to let it destroy you. I've been there. But Spock, you're better than me, you always have been. Your mum saw it in you all those years and I believe in you too. We all do."

"Jim I do not deserve-" he mumbled, but Jim cut in.

"I'm telling the truth Spock, none of it was your fault."

"Negative, I was tasked-"

"Spock you know that's not fair-"

"She needed me-"

"I need you-"

"My position as first officer could be fulfilled by any number of-"

"Dammit I'm in love with you, you idiot!" Jim snapped, and suddenly it seemed everything came to a screeching halt.

Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit-

Whipping his head up Spock stared at him, eyes wide in shock. Jim didn't blush, but rather felt all colour drain from his face. Quickly, he took his hands off the Vulcan as if burned.

"Uhh…that is…I mean…" Jim spluttered, and turned to leave.

A vice like grip clasped over his wrist.

"Stay," Spock murmured softly, almost pleadingly, and Jim's heart leapt to his throat. Slowly, he turned back to his first officer, resolutely looking anywhere but at those chocolate orbs he knew would be filled with confusion.

Maybe pity, if the Vulcan wasn't disgusted.

Jim knew something like this couldn't last. The happiness he'd felt as the months went by, as the two slowly became friends.

Chess games played well into the night, shared meals in the mess hall, occasional brushing of fingertips and split second glances.

Confiding in Bones over glasses of bourbon ("Dammit man, I'm a doctor not a relationship expert!"), the confidence that Spock always had his back in any situation. A lump formed in his throat.

And now I've fucked it all up. Just like I always-

Soft lips pressed to his own and Jim's brain derailed completely.

A sharp spark of electricity shot through his body as the Vulcan kissed him, and Jim barely had the mental presence to reciprocate. Heart hammering in his chest and body on fire, the rest of the world faded away.

The only thing that mattered was the feel of the Vulcan's lips on his, the static shooting through his body and the burning in his veins as he sighed into the kiss.

All too soon Spock slowly pulled back, pressing his forehead against Jim's as the other man flushed a bright red.

"Hnngh?" Jim began intelligently, and the corners of Spock's lips quirked upwards.

"Illogical human," he murmured warmly, and Jim's heart soared.

"I…you…guh?" he tried again, mentally applauding himself for the coherency.

Spock raised an eyebrow in subtle mocking and all Jim felt was a bubbly giddiness.

"The data I had collected seemed to indicate the contrary," Spock began, and Jim raised his eyebrows.

"Data?"

"Indeed, through a series of experiments-"

"Experiments?" Jim cut in, and the Vulcan looked slightly miffed.

"Affirmative. I gradually increased our time together, shared meals, acquiesced to the use of your first name off duty, initiated a number of kisses-"

"Kisses?!"

Spock huffed slightly in annoyance.

"Jim, if this is some form of terran game I must insist you play at a more appropriate time."

Jim continued to stare at him incredulously.

"Spock, I think I would know if you had kissed me before. Especially after that," he added, eyes glazing over slightly.

The Vulcan looked confused for a moment before sliding his hand down to grasp the other's, gently pressing his middle and forefingers to Jim's.

When the captain just blinked at him, Spock mentally berated himself for not realising something so obvious previously.

"This is a Vulcan kiss," he explained, and Jim's eyes widened.

Oh.

Jim flushed and mumbled something inaudible. Spock raised an eyebrow and Jim grinned sheepishly.

"All this time you were kissing me and I…uh…well I thought they were like the equivalent of a Vulcan high five…" Spock's eyebrows shot up to his hairline.

"A…high five?" he said slowly, staring blankly at the captain.

"Well you guys don't like touching or anything so…I mean it's not the whole hand just the tips of your fingers so…it kinda makes sense…" he trailed off weakly. The Vulcan continued to stare.

"And you always gave them to me whenever I deserved a high five; after missions, waking up alive in sickbay, winning a chess match…" he reasoned.

"Approximately 58 times I kissed you and you believed them to be high fives?" The Vulcan murmured, still staring in disbelief. Jim looked at him in concern.

Well done Jim! You finally get your Vulcan and then you break him.

Jim rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

"So uh…does this mean…?"

Spock shook his head slightly in amusement and slowly leaned forward. Breath ghosting over his captain's, he smiled minutely.

"Loving you is logical," he assured, before their lips met in a searing kiss.

Jim's breath hitched as Spock's hand slid to cup his jaw, angling his head slightly to deepen the kiss. Jim gasped and the Vulcan took full advantage, taking the opportunity to explore the other's mouth with a fervour usually reserved for the lab.

Jim grasped Spock's hand, firmly pressing their fingers together. Smiling into the kiss, he was left breathless as the Vulcan turned his attention to his neck.

Heat pooled in his stomach, every touch sending his nerves alight. Vaguely, he wondered at what point they had ended up on the floor.

A flash of green caught his eye and Jim reluctantly pulled back, before smirking widely.

Above him, a flustered Vulcan stared down at him, eyes dark and a deep emerald flush over his features. Jim grinned at the chance for some payback.

"Why Spock are you blushing?" 

The Vulcan's flush intensified as Jim flipped them over with a smirk. The fact Spock had let him do so sending his heart rate skyrocketing.

As for the Vulcan, he felt as if all mental faculties had abandoned him.

Fascinating.

"Vulcans do not- mmphf!" Jim cut him off with an unexpected kiss, leaving Spock in a daze.

"You were saying?"

"V-vulcans…vulcans do not-" and again Jim kissed him, trailing along his jawline and exploring his neck, being sure to press his lips to the pointed shell of his ear. Warm breath caressed the sensitive skin and Spock felt as though he couldn't breathe, shuddering slightly.

"And once more?"

"Guh."

"Yeah, that's what I thought," Jim said smugly, deciding that screw everything else this was what his purpose was.

And as those dark, almost black with need eyes stared up at him, perfect hair splayed in disarray and dark green flush across his cheeks, Jim had the fleeting thought that he could spend a lifetime proving it.

/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Third times the charm right hehe so my first time writing a kiss/making out scene ever so I stressed something wicked over this. Let me know what you think and send me a review ^^


	8. The one with the fall~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: still not owning star trek. I do own a t-shirt though...  
> On another note you'll notice I messed with some stuff- like the category :P had the wrong one the whole time, what a potato right??
> 
> Sooooo sorry about the slow update it was an internet drought -_-

Jim blinked open his eyes blearily, attempting to see past the sleep induced fog in his brain. He felt pleasantly warm, and it took him a moment to remember why.

A flood of memories from the night before washed over him. Jim smiled as he realised why he was so warm, sighing in comfort as the arms wrapped around him tightened minutely.

"Good morning, T'hy'la," Spock's voice murmured into his ear, and Jim felt a spark of electricity shoot through his body. The Vulcan pressed a soft kiss to Jim's neck and the young captain smiled widely as he turned to face Spock.

The Vulcan's eyes were half lidded as he watched his captain, a molten chocolate colour. Jim felt a giddy happiness in his chest as he leaned forward, kissing his first officer gently.

One of his hands strayed to the Vulcan's side and he grinned as Spock's heartbeat hammered away under his fingertips. It was nice to know the feeling was mutual.

"We should probably get up," Jim murmured reluctantly, stealing another kiss and closing his eyes. Spock's chest rumbled slightly in agreement but neither made any move to leave, sinking into the kiss that was rapidly gaining heat.

Grudgingly, Jim leaned back to grin at the Vulcan.

"I thought you would be the responsible one," he teased.

"Perhaps you are a bad influence on me," Spock said, eyes flicking back to the other's lips. Jim flushed as his heart rate increased.

Hesitating for a moment, Jim sighed before half-heartedly shifting out of the Vulcan's arms. Stretching languidly, the blonde rubbed his eyes and stifled a yawn.

Beside him Spock pulled himself up to sit cross legged on the floor, reaching across to snag the other's fingers in a Vulcan kiss.

"I…wish to apologise for the events of last night…" Spock said hesitantly and Jim's eyes furrowed at him.

"I thought I told you none of it was your fault?"

"Affirmative, however I was referring to my emotional compro-" Jim leaned over to cut the Vulcan off with a soft kiss, placing a hand on his cheek.

"Spock, I thought Vulcans were meant to be smart," he said with a smile, and the first officer raised an eyebrow.

"I do not see how-" Jim kissed him again with a grin, pressing his forehead to the other man's.

"You don't need to apologise to me. You should know why by now," Jim said quietly.

"Perhaps you should remind me," the Vulcan whispered, connecting their lips once more.

"I love you," the young captain sighed, pulling back to look the other in the eye.

Spock felt his heart flip as he stared into the blonde's cerulean orbs, bright with warmth and affection. He felt the beginnings of a pale green blush spread across his face.

"I love you too, T'hy'la," he responded, linking their fingers in a kiss. A slight crinkle appeared between Jim's eyebrows.

"What does that word mean? You've used it twice now," he asked, and Spock opened his mouth to reply-

…which is about when the cave began to shake violently.

Spock caught Jim as he stumbled before quickly shuffling them to the cave entrance. Loud snaps and cracks sounded from amidst the rumble of stone as large crystals shattered and splintered.

"It appears this planet also suffers from seismic activity, though our initial scans stated otherwise," Spock called to Jim, who was staring uneasily at the ledge in front of them.

"Awesome. Just awesome," Jim muttered irritably, brushing blue dust from his shoulders and hair.

So the way Jim saw it they could either stay where they were and get squished or they could attempt to climb back down the blue rock face. If they chose the latter the odds of slipping and falling to jagged rocks below was also fairly high, though not a definite.

Dammit, he thought to himself in annoyance.

"We're gonna have to go down, Spock!" he yelled above the loud groan of the tremors. Spock nodded, sliding off the cave ledge to grasp the shaking, honeycombed rock.

Jim waited a moment for the Vulcan to get a head start before doing the same, once more favouring speed over care.

Unfortunately, that was when his 'damn Kirk luck' finally seemed to run out.

Jim yelped as one of his handholds disintegrated, leaving him hanging by one hand.

"Jim!" Spock cried from below, and the young captain cursed softly as his only hold on the cliff face began to crumble.

No! I can't die here, not yet! 

Gritting his teeth, the trembling stone finally gave way and he felt himself begin to fall.

Everything seemed to move slow motion. Rationally, Jim knew it only took a few seconds to become a splat on the ground, and yet time seemed to move slower. The young captain saw his life flash before his eyes in a heartbeat.

He had enough time to regret leaving The Enterprise after only a few years.

He had enough time to regret not being able to say goodbye to Bones and the rest of the crew.

He had enough time for his heart to break over leaving Spock so soon.

He had enough time to register the sensation of strong arms locking themselves around his chest as he fell.

Clutching the blonde to him, Spock shifted so he was below Jim, tucking the captain's head into the crook of his neck. Closing his eyes he prayed the added momentum wouldn't send them into the rocks below.

Jim gasped as they hurtled through branches and vines, crashing through the bright vegetation in a blur of colour before they hit the ground, the force flinging them apart.

Jim lay on his back wheezing, the impact leaving him winded. Gasping for breath, he rolled onto his side as quickly as he could, ignoring the aching and stinging all over his body.

Spock, I have to get to Spock, he thought in a rush, steadily crawling over to the motionless Vulcan.

Please be alive, please be alive, he chanted over and over.

Almost as if he had heard Spock rolled to his side with a gasp, the wind having been knocked from his lungs.

Jim would have sighed in relief if he wasn't still catching his breath.

Spock blearily opened his eyes, ignoring the aching all over his body as he sucked in deep breaths. Against all odds (92%) he had managed to catch Jim and take the impact of their fall without serious injury; only superficial bruises and scrapes.

The sharp rocks across the base of the cliff face were barely two metres away. For once Spock didn't bother to calculate the odds, not wishing to know.

Glancing Jim crawling over to him from the corner of his eye, the Vulcan smiled slightly, a tiny quirk of the lips that most would miss.

By Jim's gasping grin he had caught it.

"Spock…you…idiot," the captain chided between breaths, linking his fingers through his first officer's.

"Ill…illogical…human…" he rasped back, and Jim lowered his head in relief.

In only the space of a moment he had almost lost everything.

Jim had been through plenty of near death experiences, the rush of it a now familiar routine, but this time was somehow different. For the first time in a long time, the gravity of the situation really hit home. Fear weighed down his stomach as he held Spock's hand, fear not for himself but those he left behind.

As those pained chocolate eyes stared at him, Jim finally understood.

Several minutes passed before they caught their breath, leaning against the pink bark of a tree.

"You shouldn't have risked yourself like that Spock," Jim murmured worriedly, and the Vulcan leaned on the blonde, shoulder to shoulder.

"I believe the terran phrase for this situation would be; 'too bad, so sad'," he retorted, and Jim snorted with laughter.

"Look at you, using terran colloquialisms," the young captain said with pride. Spock raised an eyebrow in amusement, twining their hands together once more.

"I have been considering the events of yesterday and I find myself perplexed," he admitted after a long moment.

"You mean your moth- the woman," Jim corrected at the last moment, and a muscle in the Vulcan's jaw clenched.

"Affirmative. Her resemblance to my mother was uncanny, though logically I know it cannot be her. Furthermore, the surrounding jungle appears as it always has. Nothing suggests a considerably sized creature passed through here, though we saw it. This planet is most illogical," he finished, and Jim thought it over.

"You touched her though. I mean, we saw everything else but you actually touched her. Maybe it's some kind of…I dunno…interdimensional being?" Jim speculated, and Spock shook his head.

"Your hypothesis holds merit, though it is improbable. Regardless, perhaps it would be wise to find shelter," he suggested, wincing minutely as he climbed to his feet.

Jim frowned up at him before standing, staring at the ugly bruise that ran along the Vulcan's exposed arm through the torn black undershirt.

Noticing the line of sight, Spock leaned across and brushed his lips over his captain's.

"I am fine," the Vulcan assured him, taking his hand and walking slowly ahead.

"Fine has numerous definitions," Jim retorted and his first officer glanced at him.

Spock could see the worry clouding the blonde's expression, hear it colouring his voice, and so he tightened his hand around Jim's.

This time however he lowered his already damaged shields, transferring waves of reassurance and love through their entwined fingers.

Jim's breath hitched as he felt a rush of emotion, the sensation leaving him breathless.

He pulled Spock to him and crashed their lips together, gasping as he was pushed against the yellow bark of a tree.

They kissed almost desperately, clinging to one another as wave after wave of raw feeling sparked through them. Jim ran his hand through the tidy black hair, tousling it before moving his mouth along the Vulcan's jawline and kissing along his neck.

Spock tilted his head back with a sigh, vaguely wondering how he was still standing as Jim seemed content to immerse him in love, lust and affection, leaving the Vulcan's head swimming.

His other hand rested on Jim's chest, his own breaths seeming to be in time with his captain's accelerated heart rate.

Fire pooled in his stomach and he pulled the blonde's lips back to his with a soft growl, the sound sending a pleasant shiver up Jim's spine.

"It…it would…be logical to…c-continue…to shel-shelter…" Spock gasped out between kisses.

Jim made a small sound of agreement, and the two gradually pulled away, though being sure to keep their hands linked. Spock raised most of his mental shields until only a trickle escaped.

In retrospect the logical thing would have been to do so earlier, thus saving time and energy.

He liked the illogical way better.

/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huuuuuuge thanks go to OrmondSacker you are freaking amazing ^^ Ao3 confused the crap out of me *came from ff.net* so thankyou so much for your input.  
> Sorry for anyone picturing shatner/nimoy- my bad hehe ^^* love those two though theyre awesome
> 
> anyways wasn't sure about this chapter (feels fillerish?) but I think Spock and Jim need a lovey chapter before shit hits the fan (next time ;) )  
> as always thanks go out to all you commenters and kudosers(?) you guys are epic ^^
> 
> *will actually post soon now my internet is back on*


	9. The one with the ants~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooooooooooo sorry about the no update! Its been pretty hectic ^^*

"Ok…what's your favourite colour?" Jim asked the first officer, occasionally brushing their hands together.

The two had been walking all morning in an attempt to find somewhere they could hide since the cave was no longer an option, heading toward the same tree they had used on their first night. Pausing for lunch, they now found themselves in a rare clearing.

"I do not have a favourite colour as that would suggest an illogical preference. All colours have a purpose so I neither 'like' nor 'dislike' any," Spock replied in his super Vulcan voice. Jim rolled his eyes.

"Ok, well if you had to randomly choose a colour for the purpose of choosing a colour which colour would you choose?" Spock raised an eyebrow at him in amusement.

"Blue."

"Ah. For science?" he guessed, and the Vulcan glanced at him.

"Perhaps," he said cryptically, and Jim sighed. Damn convoluted Vulcans.

"Ok your turn I guess," Jim said somewhat flatly.

In an attempt to alleviate the boredom (that apparently only Jim felt) they had begun to ask each other random questions about anything they didn't already know.

"Do you show an illogical preference to any creature in particular?"

Jim hid his surprise. Spock's questions were usually unnecessarily complicated and completely random ("Jim, what is your scientific opinion of Ensign Schwargeoff's hypothesis, submitted two point three weeks ago in regards to…"), so hearing a basic question was like a breath of fresh air.

"Hmmm…probably a dog, you know 'cos they're so loyal and all. I had one growing up," he added, smiling easily. "Her name was Ruby, she wasn't a pedigree or anything but that never mattered to me anyway," Jim trailed off.

"What about you?"

"I had a pet sehlat as a child by the name of I-Chaya," Spock replied.

"What's a sehlat?"

"A large Vulcan mammal not unlike a teddy bear."

"Naw little Spock had a teddy!"

"…his fangs were six inches long," the Vulcan said drily and Jim paled.

Note to self: Vulcan kids are hardcore.

He blinked in surprise as a hummingbird like creature hovered in front of their faces, regarding a nest of large purple ants.

Its plumage was a plethora of colour, blue, orange, pink, yellow and red adorning its feathers. It's six eyes watched them with interest.

"Fascinating," Spock murmured, and Jim smiled, grasping the Vulcan's hand.

Some things never changed.

He was brought out of his musings as the ground beneath their feet trembled slightly, and Jim stared at Spock in horror.

"Dammit why now?!" Jim growled as he turned to run again.

Spock stayed where he was, regarding the bird and the ants critically. The smashing grew louder and a terrifying roar ripped through the air.

"Spock!" Jim hissed, shaking his arm. The Vulcan said nothing, staring fixedly at the animals.

The soil began to vibrate and Jim could hear the snapping and snarling of the creature's two heads.

"Jim, the fauna are not reacting," Spock said finally, gazing up at Jim.

"What?!" he snapped, wondering how in the hell they had time for this.

"They are not reacting. Thus it is safe to assume-" he was cut off by an ear splitting shriek, as the monster finally burst through the overgrowth.

Jim stood frozen beside his first officer as the beast stopped directly in front of them, towering over them as it gnashed both sets of teeth together. Its tail whipped back and forth, spines glistening and glossy black scales quivering.

Both sets of nostrils snorted loudly before it lowered its heads, wickedly sharp teeth longer than Jim's arm parted in a deafening roar.

He knew his face was devoid of all colour but Jim refused to run, reaching out a hand to take Spock's.

Spock who stared defiantly up at the curved teeth.

"You are not real. Show yourself," he demanded, voice monotone and face impassive.

The creature's tail whipped in front of them, stopping centimetres from Spock's face.

"I do not wish to repeat myself."

Jim gasped as the creatures form seemed to fold in on itself, thick black smoke billowing outwards before spinning into a circle and crashing to the ground. As the smoke spewed out over the forest floor, the sound of slow clapping reached their ears.

A figure casually strolled toward them, dressed in a pin stripe suit and sunglasses. Blonde, unruly hair spiked up in all angles as he grinned at them wolfishly.

"Well done, that was awesome. Jimmy looks like he wants to piss his pants but Spock over here is cool as a cucumber!" he exclaimed in a cheery voice, and Jim frowned.

"Just who the hell are you?" he demanded, and the strange man feigned looking over his shoulder before pointing at himself questioningly.

"Oh Jimmy you don't remember me?" he asked in shock, and Spock glanced at Jim questioningly. He sent the Vulcan a shrug.

"Answer the question. Who are you?"

The man pouted.

"If you don't start playing nice Jimmy, I may start to think that you're not my friend. If you're not my friend, well that makes you…" he trailed off, and a vine from behind them whipped Jim across the back.

Falling to his knees, Jim gasped in shock as he fought not to cry out as the vine broke the skin. Spock knelt by his side in concern, helping him back to his feet before fixing the man with a murderous glare.

"You may not remember, but we met once before when you guys were huddling up in your 'love cave'," he continued pleasantly, and memories of last night flashed behind Jim's eyes.

Memories of a man beckoning him, a desire so powerful he was ready to step off the ledge.

Of needing to see behind those glasses…

The captain's eyes glazed over.

The man snorted with laughter before clicking his fingers, Jim's eyes cleared at the sound.

"I suggest you pay attention sweetheart," he said with a smirk.

"What the…you were the one last night!" Jim exclaimed, reaching for the phaser that wasn't at his hip in an unconscious movement.

"Wow, your deductive skills are impressive," he said drily, and Jim clenched his jaw.

"Explain. Now," Spock ordered, stepping in front of his captain.

The suited man heaved a long suffering sigh, straightening his suit with a flick of the material.

"Oh come on, you don't need me to connect all the dots right? I thought you Vulcan's were clever?" he added, inspecting his fingernails.

Spock's eyes narrowed a fraction before he threw himself forward; faster than Jim had thought possible.

Launching a kick towards the blonde, Spock gasped softly as his leg passed straight through the other's body in a parting of smoke.

A large vine smashed into the Vulcan's stomach, lifting him off his feet and throwing him across the clearing. Recovering quickly, he rolled to his feet and darted back to Jim's side.

"What the hell?" Jim muttered, as the blonde across from them grinned.

"Did I forget to mention the part where I feed off psy energy?"

Spock's eyebrows rose to his hairline as all the pieces fell into place. At the same time a slight tugging sensation pulled at the back of his mind.

His shields, he realised. They hadn't fully recovered because they had been under constant attack- a subtle almost unnoticeable drain over time.

The fact he felt it at all was simply because this man allowed it.

The man in question yawned, stretching his arms over his head lazily. Both Starfleet officers tensed at the movement.

"I so wish you had been a little less clever though Spock; I love games. You two have been the most fun I have had in a long time- did you like that act with your mum? I thought it added an element-"

"That was you?!" Jim snarled, thunderous expression on his face. "I'm not asking again; who the fuck are you?" Spock placed a hand on his arm in warning as the blonde rose his eyebrows.

"Ugh I always hate this part- 'who are you', 'why are you doing this?', 'spare me please!'" he cried in mock terror, clasping his hands in front of him. Straightening, he adjusted his glasses.

"A name is a very powerful thing. It gives something an identity, a category. It is proof of existence. It allows others to understand who we are, allows them to have power over us," at this he paused, a wicked grin on his face.

"Jimmy, I shrugged off those shackles a long time ago!"

Beside him Spock tensed as the plant life around them began to writhe, changing colour from pale pinks and yellows to vibrant shades of red and purple.

"I do this because I want to! There is no hidden motive- no grand desire to hide behind. I meddle with your tiny lives because I'm BORED!" he shrieked the last word as the plant life advanced on them, vines flowing across the ground like water.

The pair ducked and weaved, Spock snapping the vegetation and Jim doing his best to just not get tangled, the blur of red and purple vines almost too fast to dodge.

Jumping back, a red vine shot out in front of the captain to tangle around his ankle. Before he had the chance to struggle a black clad arm quickly snapped through the plant as Spock continued to destroy them with enviable ease.

"Well that's not fair," the man murmured, glancing around the clearing with a pout. Shrugging, he lifted a wickedly curved dagger from within the suit, throwing it amidst the struggle casually, and Jim felt it graze his cheek as it slammed into the bark of a tree behind him.

"Oh no I missed," he murmured with a frown, and Jim snatched up the blade quickly. Spock barely caught on to the small exchange, surrounded almost completely by plants. Lashing out with the knife, Jim hacked and slashed at the bright colours.

Moments later the two officers stood shoulder to shoulder, cuts and bruises decorating their bodies as they stood knee deep in dead flora.

Jim frowned, glancing from side to side cautiously, dagger still clenched in an aggressive stance. That had felt almost too easy…and Jim always trusted his gut feeling. The man took a few steps closer and the captain felt his first officer tense beside him.

The blonde opposite them lifted a black shoe, gingerly stepping over dead leaves and undergrowth to pause several meters in front of them.

"Well this was fun and all guys; really it was the most fun I've had in hundreds of years. Sadly though all good things must come to an end," he trailed off with a sigh. Spock pushed Jim back slightly with his shoulder as the man raised one hand.

Slowly, he took off his glasses, carefully folding them before sticking them in the front pocket of his pants. Taking a deep breath, the man opened his eyes to reveal a deep charcoal colour.

Jim's own cerulean widened before becoming vacant, glazing over as the world faded away.

Spock glared at the man opposite, waiting for the attack that was sure to come. When nothing happened, he risked a glance at the captain beside him.

Lifeless eyes stared straight ahead, and Spock tensed.

"Guess it doesn't work on Vulcans…" the man murmured sulkily, before shrugging.

"Explain," Spock said in monotone, and the suited man chuckled.

"I dunno, I can sense your thoughts but I can't seem to flick the autopilot. Maybe it's the touch telepath thing? Meh, doesn't matter," he said in a bored tone, flicking his wrist minutely.

Spock rushed forward in a fast movement, lashing out at the figure in front of him.

Without blinking the man stepped to the side easily, dodging the Vulcan's barrage of punches and kicks.

"Do your thing Jimmy!" he called.

Spock spun around just as Jim plunged the blade through his own chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe I love a cliffy ^^ so I was quite nervous about Mr OC in this chappie so let me know what you think. A lot of why he's such an asshat will be explained next time. Usually I hate OCs but…meh
> 
> As always thanks go out to my super shiny special awesome comment/kudosers :) and yes that made more sense in my head...
> 
> Sadly I have started uni again so my updates will probably have to be once a week ._. I know I suck but will definitely finish this thing!
> 
> Send me a comment and let me know how everything is going ^^


	10. The one with the thread~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: slightly more hardcore than other chapters...there is like no humour in this at all...  
> *ahem* carry on :P

The first thing Jim noticed was the cold.

A bone deep chill seemed to set in and he wondered sluggishly what happened. He was on the ground; that much he knew. Coughing wetly, he could taste the sharp metallic flavour of blood in his mouth.

Vision swimming, Jim slowly opened his eyes. Nausea rose in his chest for a moment as everything appeared to swirl together, the bright colours of the jungle and something darker. A moment later, wide brown eyes came into focus.

Spock…

His ears rang, drowning out the Vulcan's words. Spock's eyes were alight with panic, darting from Jim's face to his chest. The blonde shivered and the Vulcan pressed a hand to his forehead.

Dimly, Jim noticed the hand was drenched in something red.

"Jim, can you hear me?" Spock spoke quickly but evenly, reigning in his anxiety. He glanced around for a moment before peeling off his black undershirt and pressing it to the wound in the young captain's chest. Dark red seeped over his fingers as the injury continued to bleed steadily.

Cerulean blinked up at him slowly and the Vulcan tried to quash the panic clawing its way up his throat.

"T'hy'la…" the blonde sighed, coughing thickly as more red sprayed from his lips. The Vulcan above him froze, staring down at him with an unreadable expression.

"You…you never…told me…what it means…" Jim gasped out, face far too white. Spock's hands shook as he brushed some of the blood from the other's lips.

Grasping his captain's hand and pressing their foreheads together, Spock shuddered.

"More than a friend…more than a brother…" Spock whispered, pressing his lips to Jim's. A rogue tear slid down his cheek.

"More than a lover…It means you must stay awake."

Jim could feel the tremble in the Vulcan's frame, and he smiled up at him.

"I..I like it…" he murmured weakly, eyes sliding closed.

"Jim it is imperative you stay awake."

The blonde gazed up at the Vulcan, eyes open only a sliver. The love and adoration Spock saw in those misted over depths lay waste to the last of his resolve.

"Please," Spock begged, anguish leaving a lump in his throat. The dying man beneath him smiled softly, fingertips brushing the Vulcan's in a weak kiss.

"I'm…really glad I met you…my t'hy'la…" Jim breathed, drinking in Spock's grief stricken features before his eyes slid closed.

"Jim!" Spock cried in terror, not bothering to hide the emotions he felt would drown him.

Gently the Vulcan shook the ashen blonde.

"Answer me…you must-" he choked on his words as grief seemed to close up his throat. Shaking he pressed his lips to the still ones beneath him, tears sliding from his closed eyes.

"Please just answer me…" he whispered brokenly to the too pale human beneath him.

Jim didn't move.

I have lost him...Jim is gone…my t'hy'la…Spock's thoughts numbly spiralled, hands shaking as they clutched Jim's.

Slow clapping reached his ears and Spock's head slowly raised.

The man in the suit walked forward, wiping an imaginary tear from his eye with a grin.

"Don't you just hate it when a story has a sad ending," he called to the motionless Vulcan. Spock's body stopped shaking, hot purpose burning through him.

Every nerve end in his body burned with a thirst for this man's blood.

Snarling, Spock launched himself towards the suited man once more, lashing out as quickly as possible. Each time the man dodged, shifting his footing only slightly so he barely moved out of the way.

The man threw back his head and laughed, almost hysterically. He struck out a second later with a vicious kick that threw the Vulcan backwards. The man wolf whistled.

"That's a good look for you Spocky, no shirt and all that emotion across your face. Doesn't it just set you all aquiver?" he called, rubbing his hands over his arms briskly.

Spock growled and threw himself at the man, lashing out again and again before being kicked or punched aside.

Gritting his teeth, Spock willed himself to calm down. If he were to have revenge, he would need to be logical.

Loving you is logical, his own voice from the other night filtered through his mind, accompanied by a sharp pang of agony through his heart.

"You will pay for what you have done," he promised, vehemence burning his words as the blonde raised his eyebrows.

The two continued their dance as Spock threw kicks and punches while the other simply dodged, only a few centimetres between them.

"Good luck with that," the blonde snorted, continuing to step around the Vulcan.

He whipped out a fast kick as Spock dodged to the left, finally completely focused.

The man opposite him raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Well that's a new one, touché Mr Spock. You mustn't be all that sad if you can concentrate like that hmm?" he taunted, and Spock smothered the spike of fury.

"And Jimmy is- uhh sorry was- so gone for you too," he continued, faking disappointment.

Spock clenched his teeth, focusing all his years of mental training to keep the blank façade. Feigning a kick, the man dodged accordingly, stepping just a foot closer to the Vulcan.

"I wonder…what would your mother say?" he snickered as his features swam for a moment, engulfed completely in smoke. Spock quickly darted back, shock making him pause.

Large chocolate eyes stared at him as she stepped forward, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear in a familiar movement. Spock took another step back.

"Enough. You have nothing to gain from these illogical games, I know you are not her," the Vulcan said stiffly, dropping into a defensive stance.

The woman said nothing, just continued walking forward calmly.

Spock stood his ground stubbornly, refusing to move as the woman (he would not refer to her as his mother) stopped less than a meter in front of him. Slowly she shook her head.

"You couldn't save me," she whispered, eyes misting over. Spock shook slightly, hands clenched into fists at his sides.

"You are not her."

"You let me die," she continued, voice filled with sorrow. Slowly she inched forward.

"I did not let her die, I-" Spock was cut off as she seized him by the throat, lifting him up off the ground and against the back of a tree. He grabbed at the small hands around his neck in an iron grip.

"You watched me fall," she said lowly, eyes narrowing and hand still around his throat.

Spots danced over Spock's vision as his chest burned for oxygen.

"Anyone who loves you dies," she hissed, and with a wordless snarl he twisted viciously, kicking off the tree behind him to break her hold.

"Someone like you would not know nor understand love," he spat, and her form dissolved into ash.

The man reappeared behind him, breath ghosting across Spock's bare shoulder.

"Love is weakness- it's a chink in the armour."

The Vulcan twisted around, almost nose to nose with the blonde. Charcoal eyes narrowed.

"It is, by its own definition, illogical, wouldn't you say Spock?" The Vulcan nodded, and the man stared at him in surprise.

"And that is why it is logical," Spock said firmly. The blonde raised his eyebrows .

"That doesn't make any-" he was cut off as Spock launched himself at the man, pinning him to the ground.

They struggled for a few moments before the first officer grabbed the other's throat. Staring down at the blonde below he gasped as wide cerulean stared back.

His hold loosened enough for the other to break it, rolling across to pin him on his back.

Roughish grin in place, not-Jim leaned over him.

"You could've saved me too Spock," he said conversationally, hand cupping the Vulcan's cheek. Spock said nothing, frozen beneath him. The blonde leaned forward, lips an inch from the brunette's as his hands closed over his windpipe.

"Love is pain and betrayal Spock, it's something enemies exploit," he continued against the other's lips as Spock gasped for air.

ThisisnotJimthisisnotJimthisisnotJim-

"I died…because you love me," he whispered.

THIS IS NOT JIM!

Not wasting any time, Spock slammed his hand to the other's meld points.

"What the-" he cried in real shock, blue eyes wide as Spock tore through his shields viciously.

The hands around his neck let go as if burned, blue eyes turning to horror filled grey.

The bright colours of the jungle fell away as the Vulcan entered the man's mind, intent on doing as much damage as possible. It appeared after so many years of offensive mental tactics the blonde's shielding was only mediocre, a testament to the man's arrogance.

He stood in a black void, body made of white light as he briefly examined the man's mind.

He cannot read surface thoughts, rather fears buried in the subconscious…fascinating, he thought to himself briefly before plunging straight in, tearing through memory after memory.

A small blonde boy (looking to be roughly six years old) covered in dirt and clad only in rags crouched in a small cage, knees drawn up under his chin defensively. A red orb on the front of the bars pulsed with light occasionally as it drained him of psy energy.

A small ginger haired girl knelt by the front of his cage, looking nervously left and right. Carefully she passed several small berries through the bars.

"What's your name?" the girl whispered curiously. The boy glared, looking away from her.

"M-my name is Becca," she tried again, still holding out the berries.

Grey eyes locked with green as the child seemed to contemplate something.

After a moment the boy snatched them greedily, shovelling them into his mouth like he was starved. Taking in the child's bony structure, Spock realised he probably was.

"…Zac..Zachariah…" the boy rasped, not used to using his voice. The girl smiled warmly.

Pushing his way through, the Vulcan found himself in another memory.

Voices filtered through a vent where the (now 10 year old) boy hid, crouching close to the grate.

"…far too powerful. We must not allow him to escape, he could be the end of us all," a masculine voice murmured from below. A moment later the air vent creaked loudly and the boy gasped in terror, attempting to crawl away.

A hand curled around his ankle and he was pulled forcibly from the grate, snarling and screaming like a wild thing.

The girl from before watched him sadly from behind an elderly man's legs.

Another memory, this time a 12 year old throwing things around a prison cell with his mind.

"I'm BORED!" he screamed loudly, destroying everything in the room. The guards outside stared wide eyed as he pummelled the clear aluminium of his cell, slamming it again and again with his powers. The girl from earlier stared at him, emerald eyes wide in fear.

The little red orb strapped to the front broke with a splintering crack.

"BORED BORED BORED BORED-"

A 16 year old now stood before him, shattering the clear screen with a thunderous expression. A guard crawled backwards in terror, as the slim young man knelt in front of him.

"I'm sorry I think I misheard you; let's try one more time," he said cheerily, expression instantly becoming almost friendly. The man whimpered as he slid up the wall, clutching at his throat.

The boy clasped both hands behind his back, smiling brightly.

"Where is she again?"

The guard gasped for breath, and the invisible chokehold loosened enough for him to gulp in air greedily.

"Please, don't hurt me I have a little boy at-" the man was cut off as he was slammed harder into the wall.

"Where. Is. She?" he spoke slowly, stepping forward. The man's eyes were wide with terror.

"She-she's…she was arrested-" the guard gave a gurgled cry as his head was snapped to the side, body sliding lifelessly to the floor.

One by one all the objects in the room began to float upwards, spinning slowly.

Spock pushed deeper, irreparably shredding into the warped mind like barbed wire. The next memories were filled with blood and screams, bodies everywhere he turned.

The girl (now a teenager) shrank away from Zachariah's blood spattered hands.

"What have you done?" she whispered in horror, flinching as the boy stroked her cheek, smearing her white skin with crimson.

"I fixed it, Becca. I fixed it," he breathed, utterly ecstatic. Blinking back tears, Becca shook her head.

"No. N-not like this, Zach," she gasped between the sobs now wracking her body, green eyes filled with tears. Charcoal eyes narrowed.

"They deserve it- do you have any idea how many years I was locked away, how long I spent praying for a way out? At six years old I wanted to die. And then you came along, the only one I've ever loved and now they want to take you away?"

"You shouldn't have-"

"They were going to kill you Becca, I SAVED YOU!" he snapped, stepping forward to kiss her roughly.

Slapping him, the young woman stepped back against the wall, raising her hand as she tried to hit him with her own power.

A dark rage filled him as her attack swatted weakly against him.

"You-you are exactly who they said you would become…" she whispered, standing her ground as he advanced on her.

"And what, praytell, would that be?" he asked, rising his eyebrows and pulling a glinting blade from his jacket.

"A…a monster…" she said lowly, voice thick with fear.

Grey eyes glared coldly as he stabbed her through the abdomen. Gasping, the red haired girl slid down the wall, eyes wide in disbelief.

"You are just like the others."

"Zachariah…" she breathed, eyes turning glassy and lifeless.

Staring down at the small prone form, the boy frowned.

"Zachariah doesn't exist," he spat, turning away.

Each memory afterwards was equally filled with gore and horror- driven mad the man murdered every sentient life form on the small planet, destroying buildings and using his powers to create dense jungle.

Spock continued to tear at the already tattered mind, as years of memories passed in a blur. After almost two centuries the man, once Zachariah, was almost completely psy energy, his mind held together by the weakest of threads.

Standing in front of this final thread, Spock thought of all the pain and bloodshed this man had caused.

The guard, begging for his life.

The woman Becca, defiantly standing her ground.

The countless others whose lives had been thoughtlessly snuffed out.

His Jim, his t'hy'la, cerulean eyes sliding closed.

Without hesitation, Spock snapped the final thread.

Suddenly the world was a blur of colour as he found himself back in his own body, the blonde man above him shrieking and grabbing at his hair.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!" he screamed, agony covering his features. Slowly Spock shuffled to his feet, grabbing the man by his unkempt blonde hair and pulling sharply backwards so the wide grey eyes locked with his own.

Eyes black with rage and voice barely a whisper, Spock leaned forward.

"I said you would pay."

The man stared up at him in shock and horror as his body began to flake away, skin curling as he screamed.

The plant life that surrounded him began to turn a dull blue, wilting and dying as the man crumbled away to ash before his eyes.

Turning away, the enormity of what he had just done hit Spock in a rush of fatigue as he fell to his knees.

Slowly, he shuffled across to where Jim lay, reaching out shaking fingertips to touch Jim's wrist. As his vision began to black out and the golden glow of a transporter surrounded them, Spock could have sworn he felt a weak pulse.

And then he knew no more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooooo…yeahhhh… :S Hell hath no fury like a Spock scorned :P
> 
> Again thanks so much guys for all your support in this story- ONE MORE CHAPTER TO GO! (probably)
> 
> Flick me a comment and let me know what you thought- and don't worry cos things are more or less smooth sailing from here on out.
> 
> …wasn't entirely happy with this one (I had wicked writer's block) but eh let me know anyway ^^*
> 
> Update soon x


	11. The one with the smile~

The first thing Spock noticed was the smell.

Sharp and distinct, the scent of disinfectant stung his nostrils as he inhaled slowly. It would be a safe assumption that he was in sickbay then. Swallowing thickly, he mentally cringed at the sandpaper quality of his throat, sore with what he guessed was disuse.

How long had he been unconscious?

Eyelids feeling like lead the Vulcan sluggishly opened his eyes, blinking at the harsh white light. A machine beeped loudly to his left for a moment before footsteps sounded, the flick of a switch a dull click in the now almost silent room.

A small light shone in his eyes and Spock fought the urge to wince, raising a slanted brow in annoyance instead. A gruff chuckle took him by surprise as McCoy leaned back, shaking his head in amusement.

"If you've got the energy to raise a damn eyebrow at me you must be fine, hobgoblin," he said good naturedly, still running the tricorder over Spock.

"Indeed," he murmured neutrally, attempting to sort through the haze of his thoughts.

The Vulcan's body was a chorus of aches and pains, muscles feeling stiff and cramped. Where dark blotches of bruises once covered most of his body Spock glanced down to find unblemished skin. Noticing his gaze McCoy nodded to the now healed skin.

"Yeah went over all that with the dermal regenerator, took us long enough. You two never do anything in halves do ya?" the doctor complained, leaning back on the opposite bed and flicking through Spock's readings.

Like a bucket of ice water a rush of memories crashed over the Vulcan. Images flashed through his mind quickly, as his eyes widened at the onslaught.

The plants coming to life.

The monster that had chased them.

The glowing crystal cave.

His mother, screaming as she burned to ashes in his arms.

The feel of Jim's lips on his, passion igniting beneath his skin he had never felt before.

A man smirking, winking at them from behind dark sunglasses.

Jim stabbing himself through the chest, cerulean eyes staring up at him with love .

"T'hy'la…"

Spock sat bolt upright, tearing off the small cables and wires as he attempted to slide off the bed. Realising what he was doing, McCoy scrambled over.

"You can't-" The doctor was cut off as the Vulcan pushed his arm out of the way, standing slowly and shakily.

"Dammit would you listen to me?!" McCoy exclaimed, southern drawl more pronounced in his exasperation.

"Jim," Spock said firmly, shaking the CMO's hand from his shoulder. Taking a step, the world seemed to spin and then tilt as he fell to the floor.

McCoy knelt beside him, helping the first officer up to a sitting position. Eyes shut tightly, Spock tried to concentrate on the cold floor beneath him as he willed away the nausea and light headedness. He swallowed thickly, ignoring the quiet whoosh of the door sliding open.

Taking in the scene Chapel stepped over cautiously before McCoy shook his head. Hovering for a moment the nurse nodded before hesitantly heading out the door, closing it softly behind her. The doctor sighed heavily.

Despite their frequent arguments McCoy counted the Vulcan in his arms as a friend, and the fact the first officer had let himself show emotion in front of the doctor at all was tangible evidence of how far they'd come.

Letting other's see Spock shaking on the floor as he was made his stomach turn.

"Ya gonna hurl on me?" he asked softly, taking in the Vulcan's pale features. Slowly Spock opened his eyes, the dizziness and queasiness subsiding steadily.

"Negative," he murmured, clenching his jaw. Frustration filled him as he realised he was no good to his captain in his current condition, assuming Jim was even alive. Instantly berating himself mentally, Spock turned questioning eyes to the doctor beside him.

Running a hand through his dark hair, McCoy leaned back on his hands.

"I was trying to tell you Jim's alive, so take it easy already."

A weight lifted from the pit of Spock's stomach as he closed his eyes in relief. The fear and horror that had sat over his heart melted away and all at once the Vulcan felt like laughing and crying.

"Alive," he breathed, unaware of the knowing look McCoy sent him.

"What happened down there?" the CMO asked after a moment, and Spock shook his head lightly.

"I would prefer to debrief properly at a later time, perhaps when I no longer feel the need to 'hurl'," Spock said softly, slowly rising to sit on the edge of the bed. McCoy rolled his eyes from his place at the Vulcan's elbow but decided not to push it.

"We were doing everything we could to find the two of you; Scotty and Chekov practically ran themselves into the ground trying to figure out a way past the interference problem. We couldn't send a shuttle down because of the damn atmosphere apparently so all we could do was twiddle our thumbs and sit on our asses. And then out of nowhere the interference is gone, Jim's almost dead and you're not far behind," he finished, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"How long was I in a healing trance for?"

"Three days. M'Benga thinks it was some kind of mental exhaustion? I dunno, either way Jim is still out of it poor bastard," The doctor responded, and Spock nodded.

"And The Captain's condition?" he ventured, tone devoid of any emotion. McCoy narrowed his eyes slightly at the switch to title.

Bastard thinks he can fool me…

"Twice he died on my table Spock, twice. Damn Kirk luck," he added, shaking his head.

"Where is he?" Spock asked softly after a moment, straightening. McCoy stared at his form for a beat, keen medical eye taking in each small tremor of the Vulcan.

"…Next room along," he answered eventually and Spock nodded to him in thanks, turning and slowly walking to the door.

"And Spock?" McCoy called to him and the First Officer raised a slanted brow in question.

"I refuse to heal any weird or kinky sex injuries you inflict on the kid," the doctor said straight faced and Spock blinked in shock, face turning an impressive emerald.

"Illogical," he muttered, walking into the outside corridor with the sound of McCoy's laughter echoing behind.

Willing away the green hue, the Vulcan paused outside the metallic door.

"I'm…so sorry Spock…t'hy'la…"

With shaking hands, Spock entered the room.

The sight that greeted him left the Vulcan with a lump in his throat.

Jim lay pale and motionless, eyes closed and body hooked up to an IV. The gentle beep of a monitor the only thing telling him the captain was alive. Skin a pale white and blonde hair like a halo against the pillow, Spock's heart swelled at the sight.

Because despite it all Jim Kirk was alive- Spock's world was still there.

Dragging a small chair over beside the bed, Spock gently took Jim's limp hand in his own. The idle beep of the heart monitor was almost hypnotic, the steady noise the only sound in the small room.

Without fully realising it, the Vulcan's head began to tip forward as his exhaustion caught up with him.

/

Jim squinted against the stark white that greeted him when he opened his eyes, and he barely bit back a groan.

Sickbay. Again.

His entire body felt as if it had gone through a blender, and he wondered vaguely what he had done this time. He inhaled sharply as he remembered the jungle planet- and more importantly the strange man who had lived there.

Spock!

Moving to shift his arm, Jim glanced over in surprise when a weight stopped him. Eyes closed and black hair askew, his stoic first officer looked to be deep in sleep, his head resting on the young captain's arm.

Slumping back into the sheets in relief, Jim stared at the Vulcan in wonder.

I should have known, he chided himself mentally.

Under the bright lighting of sickbay Spock looked paler than usual, dark bruises under his eyes standing out sharply. His Vulcan looked exhausted so Jim let him sleep, his burning curiosity a small price to pay for the other's health.

A moment later the door swished open, McCoy walking through while glaring at his pad. Glancing up, the older man looked surprised for a moment before shaking his head.

"I told him to take it easy but no, green blooded computer knows best," he muttered, rolling his eyes. Walking forward, he took the readings from Jim's monitor.

"Thank god you're awake, kid," he added, and Jim blinked up at him questioningly. Now that his fear for Spock had abated, Jim's mind felt as sluggish and tired as the rest of him. The last thing he remembered was the cold, spreading through his body. Spock had stared down at him with such anguish Jim felt his chest constrict painfully at the memory. Swallowing thickly, Jim flinched as he snapped back to the present.

McCoy was staring worriedly down at him, poking around his face with a tricorder.

"Do you know your name? Do you know where you are?" he asked carefully, and Jim made to smack the small instrument away weakly.

"James T. Kirk, sickbay and if you don't get that damn tricorder out of my face Bones it's going up your ass," he growled irritably, and McCoy's shoulders slumped in relief.

"Quit your whining you infant," he shot back in mock irritation, the soft quality of his voice giving him away. Jim's annoyance faded and he smiled up at the CMO.

"Did you miss me Bones?"

"About as much as a hangover," he muttered, and Jim smiled.

"So uh…what happened? How are we here and not there?" he asked curiously, running a hand through unkempt blonde hair. McCoy shook his head.

"You were stabbed through the chest Jim; it's a miracle you survived at all. The only thing keeping you together was a bundled up undershirt. If the interference had held out minutes longer you'd be dead." Jim stared at the other man, taking it all in.

"But…somehow Spock saved me…" he murmured and McCoy huffed.

"Yeah never mind the poor CMO who is always stitching you back together you damn ingrate," he growled, dark blue eyes teasing despite the gruff tone. Jim grinned back at him.

"Naw Bones don't be jealous- you'll always be my bff!"

"Then what's Spock?" the doctor shot back with a smirk, and Jim flushed a deep red.

"He's uhh…he's…" the blonde mumbled, tripping over his words. McCoy threw his head back and laughed, wiping a tear of mirth from his eye.

"So you and the hobgoblin huh…about goddamn time, maybe we won't have to wade through so much damn sexual tension," McCoy said, relief in his tone. Jim coloured further and stuck his tongue out childishly.

"We did nothing of the sort!" The CMO snorted in disbelief.

"So you didn't have eye sex every two seconds, you didn't share meals constantly, you didn't lean over each other on the bridge and you sure as hell didn't make out Vulcan style all the damn time," he listed, counting each point off his fingers.

Face still red, Jim sunk down into the sheet, mumbling something under his breath that sounded like 'hi fives'. McCoy just shook his head.

"Anyway, lover computer over there was in some kind of Vulcan trance- acute mental fatigue from a mind meld…I don't know who with though since you were well and truly out of it…" he trailed off, brows knitted in thought.

Just as Jim opened his mouth to respond, he heard a sharp intake of breath from beside him.

Dark chocolate locked with cerulean and Jim's heart practically leapt from his ribcage. The air felt thick with tension as the two continued to stare, goosebumps breaking out over the young captain's skin as the Vulcan squeezed his hand.

McCoy quietly slipped from the room, suppressing the urge to gag at how disgustingly sweet they were.

Spock swallowed thickly, staring into the other's eyes. The last time he had done so they were a pale imitation of the brilliant blue he saw now, vibrant with life and shining with affection.

"You…you are alive…" he whispered, and Jim grinned in response.

"What, you didn't believe the monitor?"

He stared at Jim so intensely the blonde blushed, squirming under the scrutiny. Spock let out a shuddering breath and pulled the human to him, kissing him passionately.

Jim gasped as fire shot through his veins, heart hammering in his chest. One hand rose to stroke the Vulcan's cheek and Spock shivered beneath his touch.

"You are alive," he breathed in between kisses, almost like a prayer and Jim felt his throat go tight.

He pulled back to gently press his forehead to the Vulcan's, gasping at the emotion swirling in those dark eyes.

Shifting over, Jim pulled Spock onto the small bed with him, never breaking contact. Their bodies fit together like two pieces of the same puzzle, and Jim smiled against the Vulcan's lips. Gently, he pulled back to press his forehead to the other man's, feeling a warmth in his chest as Spock brought an arm around him and their breath mingled.

"Of course I'm alive- I'm with you," Jim murmured, tangling their fingers together in a Vulcan kiss. Spock kissed him softly, lifting his mental barriers at the same time.

An almost overwhelming feeling of love left Jim's chest feeling tight as he sighed against the Vulcan's lips, the hitch in the other's breath sending his heart soaring.

"I'm here Spock, I swear I'll always be here," he whispered, the sincerity filling Spock with warmth.

The Vulcan peppered kisses along his jawline and neck, leaving heat pooling in the captain's stomach as his…

…my what? My boyfriend? No that makes me feel like a teenage girl…my lover? Nah too trashy romance…

"My t'hy'la…" he sighed after a moment, happiness spreading through his chest.

Hidden against his neck, Jim felt Spock's lips quirk up into a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god it’s done!   
> Thank you so much all my awesome readers and commenters- seriously you guys are amazing! I hope you liked reading it as much as I liked writing it :P  
> I’ll probably be adding one shots or another story before long- maybe even a sequel at some point in the future.   
> Again, thanks for reading and flick me a comment letting me know what you thought- even your fave parts so I can get a feel for what to use next time.  
> Thanks everyone xx


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